pieces of mystery

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 11:23:29 GMT

I had hoped (I think we both hoped) that I was finally strong enough to look at this situation as you do.
I am still letting us down.
I'm sorry.

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 16:40:36 GMT

I got a toy from my cereal box this morning,
and even though it isn't a toy I like, or even a toy I enjoy,
the fact that is was there had me smiling.

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 19:22:43 GMT

I feel like I'm starting over from nothing,
again.

even now, especially now

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 10:55:43 GMT

I can wait
I can wait
I can sit wondering what in world you think about
I don't think I'm ever gonna figure it out

After all the alcohol, the pretty words that devolve down to slurs
and drunken shouts,
I don't think I'm ever gonna figure it out
It's like some wild last frontier
you never know what kind of fight's gonna appear
That once begun can't be won, started out losing already and go all ten rounds
I don't think I'm ever gonna figure it out
The tired hits that fall below

I can't connect, yeah I know
I can wait
I can wait

I can sit wondering what in the world you think about
I don't think I'm ever gonna figure it out
I don't think I'm ever gonna figure it out
I don't think I'm ever gonna figure it out

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 05:02:31 GMT

God has pity on kindergarten children.
He has less pity on school children.
And on grownups he has no pity at all,
he leaves them alone,
and sometimes they must crawl on all fours...
Yehuda Amichai

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:05:28 GMT

bubbly brain and a few days left to go.
me minus the parts my body has spent the
last nineteen years building.
plus no solid food, and more slouchy thoughts.

Not to mention the hole in my ceiling
and the lack of power which has caused
everything in the freezer to melt,
and everything in the fridge to go bad.

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 08:03:59 GMT

Sun, sun, sun, stay with me
don't go behind the clouds
I know that you'll go down
but while it's day,
let your light hit me cause if I lose you now
I fear I could bow out
and I don't know where I'm going to
when I get there,
I'll send for you and I'll know when I see it,
but be patient,
I swear I'll come through

so ride, ride, ride, ride your pony
but please don't ride him far no,
stay within the yard
it played out just like you told me
I'd scratch your pretty eyes
I'll put out those little lights
but your heart, I didn't break it,
no it was taken from you years ago
and the hole those older men pulled it through
it's still aching
let's be patient, you'll pull through
pull through
pull through
pull through
won't you?

and I've made
I've made up for my mistakes
cause of the pain of what I'd caused
won't be shit next to what I've lost
and I hated being fucking patient
so you waited
you waited
you waited
but I never ever came to

so sun, sun, sun
what are you doing?
you went behind the clouds
but all the rain came down
my old house is in ruins
if you would come out again
and dry up all the rain
then I'd climb right up again
like that spider in that nursery rhyme
and these tales,
well they're not meant to but it's time that we make them
come true
come true
come true
for me and you

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 06:27:59 GMT

I am such a fool.

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 23:07:45 GMT

I just want to sleep forever
until you wake me up

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 10:28:00 GMT

You were no ordinary drain on her defenses
And she was no ordinary girl
Oh, Inverted World
If every moment of our lives
Were cradled softly in the hands of some strange and gentle child
I'd not roll my eyes so.

Friendship

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 04:18:47 GMT

I decided the words I was going to put here
would be better used somewhere else.
(so keep your eyes open, there might be something on its way to you)

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 17:42:57 GMT

In this town
even the good memories hurt
more than I can ignore.

Oceanographer's Choice

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 22:48:42 GMT

Well
Guy in a skeleton costume
Comes up to the guy in the Superman suit
Runs through him with a broadsword
I flipped the television off
Bring all the bright lights up
Turn the radio up loud
I don't know why I'm so persuaded
That if I think things through
Long enough and hard enough
I'll somehow get to you
But then you came in and we locked eyes
You kicked the ashtray over as we came toward each other
Stubbed my cigarette out against the west wall
Quickly lit another
Look at that
Would you look at that?
We're throwing off sparks
What will I do when I don't have you
To hold onto in the dark?

Yes
Everybody's going to need a witness
Everybody's going to need a little backup
In case the scene gets nasty
You throw the attic window open
And I throw myself all around you
And night comes to Tallahassee
I don't know why it's gotten harder to keep myself away
Thought I'd finally beat the feeling back
It all came back today
And then we fell down
And we locked arms
We knocked the dresser over as we rolled across the floor
I don't mean it when I tell you
That I don't love you any more
Look at that
Would you look at that?
The way the ceiling starts to swerve
What will I do when I don't have you
When I finally get what I deserve?

Fri, 30 May 2008 23:01:01 GMT

Back into old an old habit, or maybe it's a routine.
Either way, I never though I would find myself like this again.
I found the way out of it, but I messed that up so bad
that now I don't think I will find it again.

I wish I could hug you for an eternity
like I did in the doorway that one time
hundreds of nights ago.

Wed, 21 May 2008 05:29:41 GMT

I can't do this anymore.
(or at least I don't want to).

Thu, 01 May 2008 19:02:39 GMT

1844 SE 12th Ave
Portland, Oregon
97214

It's mine, but you can come visit.

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 18:16:07 GMT

If feels like every cloud has a silver lining
but the other way around,
if that can be put into words.
(every time the sun shines the clouds come out)

Just try to stay up,
sounds so easy, right?

1

2

3

Happy

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 03:04:29 GMT

I know the days aren't so long
And time passes by
My joy in this world is kissing your eyes
I'll change with the seasons
I know my mom gave me up for a good god damn reason
That I still don't know

I took my one good thing and threw it away
you say that aren't leaving, but I'm still afraid
I wouldn't blame you for leaving
I know my mom gave me up for a good god damn reason
That I still don't know

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 09:33:43 GMT

Can someone please teach me how to grow younger?

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 21:39:36 GMT

If I could do just one near perfect thing
I'd be happy
Write it on my grave or
when the scatter my ashes.

from Still Life with Woodpecker

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 00:10:26 GMT

Who knows how to make love stay?
   1. Tell love you are going to Junior's Deli on
Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn to pick up a cheese-
cake, and if love stays, it can have half. It will stay.
   2. Tell love you want a momento of it and obtain a
lock of its hair. Burn the hair in a dime-store incense
burner with yin/yang symbols on three sides. Face
southwest. Talk fast over the burning hair in a
convincingly exotic language. Remove the ashes of
the burnt hair and use them to paint a mustache on
your face. Find love. Tell it you are someone new. It
will stay.
   3. Wake love up in the middle of the night. Tell it
the world is on fire. Dash to the bedroom window and
pee out of it. Casually return to bed and assure love
that everything in going to be all right. Fall asleep.
Love will be there in the morning.

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 04:51:59 GMT

All my thoughts are using my dreams to attack me.
I am hating going to sleep.
And what will happen with out you?
You anchor me.

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 20:08:30 GMT

oops, again.
but oh, well.
maybe next time
in the other life,
with your other half.
the one that doesn't
know yet.
I can promise,
I'm always off time.

call it a date?

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 05:24:02 GMT

Thu, 10 Jan 2008 00:22:57 GMT

spent $400
and 4 hours
and it did hurt a bit.

but definitely worth all of that.